Before we descend into the Slim Madness, I need to remind you that the first three Slim Man CDs are now available as…CDs.
They were out-of-print for years and years. Someone at the old distributor found a couple boxes and sent them to me. So, we have a few CDs left of End of the Rainbow, Closer to Paradise and Secret Rendezvous for sale at the Slim Store. The original versions, in the original covers, in the original shrink-wrap.
I’ve got the Vino with Dino show tonight-Thursday, April 2nd–at La Rue Wine Bar in Old Town La Quinta, CA. It’s a cool spot with small plates, good wine, craft beers and a guy named Slim Man, singing some Slim Songs and some Dino, Frank and Nat. Lonesome Slim Rides Again!
And the fine folks at La Rue want to keep the Vino with Dino Show going every Thursday in April.
And now, here’s all the New News From Slim’s Shady Trailer Park.
A couple months ago, I sent the cookbook I’m working on to an editor. She sent her edited version back about a month later.
I put off reading it for a couple weeks. I needed a little time away from it. When I finally started reading it, I noticed she had edited out some things. So I compared it to the original.
What did she edit out? Seriously?
Well, there’s a recipe for chicken breasts in the cookbook. In the instructions I say…
“Rinse off your breasts. Pat them dry with paper towels, and dust them with flour. Then, do the same with the chicken breasts.”
I thought it was funny. She didn’t, obviously. She took it out. When I asked her why, she told me some women might get offended.
I start off another recipe in the cookbook with a joke…
Why don’t cannibals eat divorced people?
Because they’re bitter.
I thought it was funny, she didn’t. She thought divorced people might get offended.
That’s when my Attention Surplus Syndrome kicked in. I started thinking way too long and way too hard about it. Is she right? Am I wrong? As Your Fearless Leader, I’m supposed to be fearless. And now, I’m afraid I might be offending people.
I’m Italian. When people make jokes about Italians, I don’t get offended. For instance, one of the Slim Exes told me a joke once…
Why do all Italian men grow moustaches?
So they can be just like their MOTHERS!
I thought it was funny. I wasn’t offended. Would other Italians get offended? I don’t know. I told my Mom. She thought it was funny. It’s a joke. She got it. I get it. But I’m not sure that most people think like me.
Last week, I sent out a newsletter to you Slim Folks. It started off-seriously–like this…
“Last week I met a bipolar bisexual. There might be a joke in there somewhere, I just haven’t found it yet.”
And seriously, Slim People? I heard-no joke-from a woman who is apparently a bipolar bisexual. Really. She sent me a nasty, angry email, telling me I shouldn’t make jokes about people’s sexual preferences or mental disorders.
I was gonna write her back, and tell her I didn’t actually make a joke, I was just thinking about it, but I didn’t. Why?
I figured that she must be on the Angry Pole of her bipolarization. So I didn’t write her back. I just took her off my email list–because she asked me to! Seriously!
I figure, I’ll put her back on the list next week, when she’s on the Happy Pole!
But seriously? I’m not very serious. I’m almost always joking around. At funerals, it might not be such a good idea. But I can find humor in most things.
For instance, the other day, right here at Slim’s Shady Trailer Park, there was an unfortunate accident. Selma Crapoff, our head of eBay sales, cut off her two baby toes in a freak weed-whacking accident.
I told her, “You’ll probably save 20% on pedicures!”
She didn’t think it was funny. I was just trying to cheer her up.
Slim People! I’m just trying to cheer you up.
Who loves ya?