Hello There Mighty Men and Women of Slimness!
How is SlimNation? Happy Fourth!
This is a very patriotic time of year. I’m a patriotic guy. I even wrote a new national anthem in honor of the founding of our great country. I’m calling it…
“You’re A Nation, Now!”
But after I sang the title a few times, I realized it didn’t sound quite right. Oh well…
What Fourth of July would be complete without a Slim Man Cooks cookbook? It’s got great recipes, funny stories, and it comes with a free Slim Man CD. It’s a real firecracker! Get yours right here:
The Slim Men have a really big concert on Wednesday, July 6th. It’s one of my favorite places to play–the Festival of Arts in Laguna Beach, California. It’s an incredible outdoor amphitheater, and it has a beautiful stage with a grand piano. Ain’t that grand!
You can grab a table, drink a festive beverage or three, have a meatball or two, and listen to the Mighty Slim Men. Make sure you check out all the artwork on display, there are some pretty amazing artists showing their work.
But wait! There’s more!
We have a super-special, super-secret guest that’s going to sit in on guitar. I have been sworn to secrecy, so I can’t tell you who it is. But he’s gonna play on some Slim Songs, and he’s one of the best guitarists you’ll ever hear.
So come out to the Festival of Arts. Support the Arts, Slim People!
After the show, we can go down to the beach and skinny-dip. You first!
And if you’re in the Palm Springs area this weekend, come say hello to Uncle Slimmy at La Rue Wine Bar in OldTown La Quinta, CA, this Thursday (tonight!), Friday, and Saturday, June 30th-July 2nd.
It’s a little pop-up gig from 6-8 PM, so pop in and say hello. I’ll be doing the award-winning Rat Pack show. Dino, Frank, and Slim Ride Again! How lucky can one guy be?
My niece just had a baby. My other niece had twins not long ago. It got me thinking, which is dangerous because of my affliction, Attention Surplus Syndrome. I think about things way too long.
Some people I know have Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD. They can’t pay attention, so they take a drug called Adderall.
I’m thinking about creating a drug for my ASS. I’ve already got the name–Subtracterall.
As I started thinking about the new babies in SlimLand, I started thinking about lullabies. I’m a songwriter. I got my start writing songs at Motown. They would send me assignments- “We need a ballad for a Latin jazz vocalist!”-and I would do my research, write a song, and submit it to the publisher.
And when the nieces started having kids recently, I started thinking about writing some lullabies. I did my research. I was surprised at what I found.
One of the most popular lullabies is Rockabye Baby. The lyrics go like this:
“Rockabye baby, on the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all”
I started thinking…Who wrote this song? And what publisher decided to green light this thing? Can you imagine if I submitted this song to Motown?
“Hey, Slim. Berry here. We’re gonna pass on your song. Not sure if the public is ready for a lullaby about infant abuse.”
I continued thinking…What parents would put their infant up in a tree top for any reason, let alone to go to sleep? Can you imagine the conversation?
“Hey, Hon! The baby’s tired. I think I’ll take her out back, climb the tree, and put her and the cradle up on top.”
“OK, Sweetie. But what if the wind blows?”
“Well, Hon, the cradle will rock. And then the tree limb will break, and the baby will fall.”
“OK, Sweetie! Sounds great. Love you!”
If any parent were to put their kid on top of a tree in a windstorm, Child Services would be over in a heartbeat. Anderson Cooper would be there with a camera crew. 60 Minutes would do a 70-minute show about it.
There would be Senate investigations, Supreme Court hearings.
Slim People! How did this song ever get published? And why do we keep on singing it?
Another popular lullaby is She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain.
I’ve already discussed this song in a previous newsletter. The song starts off with…
“She’ll be coming ’round the mountain when she comes…”
They sing this line 6 times in a row. Then they move on to…
“She’ll be riding six white horses when she comes…”
Who is this woman? And why is she riding six white horses? Isn’t one enough?
But it’s the last line of the song that I find really disturbing…
“She will have to sleep with Grandma when she comes…”
Are all strangers required to sleep with Grandma when they come? Or just women riding six white horses?
Is this the kind of behavior we want to encourage in our young people? What will they think? What will they say?
“Mom, Dad. Why is Grandma sleeping with the woman that just rode in on six white horses?”
Kids aren’t afraid to ask questions.
We better have some answers, Slim People.
I’ve got a good question…

Who loves ya?

Uncle Slimmy

PS…I did a new cooking video for my cippolini sauce. The recipe is in the cookbook. What is a cippolini sauce? Find out here: