Dearest Slim Men, Women and Children,

I recently read that Bob Dylan gave away 50,000 copies of his new CD to members of the AARP, the American Association of Retired People.

That was mighty generous of Bob.

But I’d like to dope-slap him on the back of his head. Bob knows that the OFU is based right here at Slim’s Shady Trailer Park.

In case you don’t know, OFU is the organization I founded to help old people. The Old Folks Union. The OFU. And Bob didn’t send us any of his new CDs. He sent them all to AARP.

Well, I’ve got two words for you, Mr. Dylan.

OFU. Old Folks Union. Keep us in mind when you release your next CD. We’d love to have a few copies here at Slim’s Shady Trailer Park in Palm Springs, Californy.

Things have been mighty quiet here at Slim’s Shady.

I’ve been getting ready for the Big Fat Slim Show this Friday, February 6th, at Spaghettini. Greg Vail on sax, Craig Chesnut on drums, and Tateng Katindig-the Thrilla from Manila-on keyboards. It’s gonna be a blast. Come on down!

I’m gonna do my Bob Dylan impression. You’re gonna love it. “Once upon a time, you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime, in your prime…didn’t you?”

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This just in! The Slim, Dino and Frank Show at La Rue Wine Bar (La Quinta, CA) has been moved from Saturday nights to Thursday nights in February.

And the cookbook is coming along quite nicely. I’ve created my signature dish, an incredibly incredible top-secret dish I’m calling…

Slim Manicotti. You would have thunk that I would have a recipe for manicotti in my cookbook, but I don’t. But now I do. It’s so good, and so unique, that we’re keeping the recipe secret for a while. We have to work out patents and copyrights. I’ve got my law firm, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe working all that stuff out.

I had dinner at a friend’s house in Palm Springs. Guess what they used to dry their dishes? A Slim Man T-shirt. I knew those things would be good for something!

That’s all I got right now, my Slimsational Slim Folks.

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Keep in touch, take good care, and ask yourself…

Who loves ya?

Uncle Slimmy!