Dearest SlimSational SlimNation,

Before I get into all the Slim Silliness, I needs to remind you that the Slim Man Band is playing at 19 Sports in San Juan Capistrano, Californee, on Thursday, March 19th. Greg Vail on sax, Tateng Katindig on keys and Craig Chesnut–C. Chisel–on drums.

It’s a very cool venue, with really good food, and the music ain’t bad, either!

And don’t forget about the Vino with Dino show Thursdays at La Rue Wine Bar in La Quinta, CA. A little Slim, a little Dino, a little Frank. You’ve heard of the Green Bay Packers? Forget about it! Come hang out with the Rat Packers on Thursdays!

Fifty Shades of Grey.

When I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey, I thought they were talking about the hair color of the blue-plate special crowd here at the diner at Slim’s Shady Trailer Park.

Imagine my surprise when I found out Fifty Shades of Grey was about S&M. Let me tell you about my own personal experience with S&M. I was having a drink at a bar, when a lovely lady asked me if I liked S&M.

I said, “Absolutely! My favorite!”

She invited me back to her house. When we got in the door, she slapped some handcuffs on me and whacked me across the face with a riding crop.

I asked her what the hell she was doing. She said, “I thought you were into S&M?”

And I said, “I thought you were talking about Slim Man! Isn’t that what S&M stands for?”

Then she explained to me what S&M stood for.

It wasn’t Slim Man. It was Sadism and Masochism.

Whoa. Big difference. Glad I got that straight! When I showed her the Slim Man website, and played her some SM music, she smacked me across the chops again with the riding crop. I guess she wasn’t a big fan.

But Fifty Shades of Grey has a lot of big fans. The book has sold millions of copies. The movie is doing really well at the box office.

Slim People, I don’t understand all this hoopla.

I was listening to the radio, and they were talking about the movie. The host asked if the movie was good or bad for the S&M community. True story.

S&M community? They have a community? Their monthly meetings must be fun. The S&M community leader stands up at the podium and says,

“I call this meeting to order!”

And someone smacks him in the face with a ping-pong paddle. And then ties him to the podium and whips him with a bullwhip.

“Meeting adjourned!”

I hope I didn’t offend anybody in the S&M community. I don’t want those people coming after me with handcuffs and riding crops. Especially at a Slim Show.

Although it might be good for attendance.

S&M sounds painful, but the new Slim Man Cookbook will hopefully be pleasurable.

I’ve created some amazing new recipes, including my latest and greatest, a roasted vegetable lasagna. Instead of gobs of ricotta cheese, I use roasted vegetables with a no-cook fresh tomato sauce that is unbelievable.

The cookbook should be ready in June. And when it’s done, I will resume the search for a new dog. I miss Batu!

That’s all the News from Slim’s Shady Trailer Park.

Who loves ya?

Uncle Slimmy