Before the Slim Madness begins, I need to remind my Dearly Beloved Slim People about a few things…

Mother’s Day is right around the corner. What a great gift an autographed Slim Man CD would make for Mom. Either that or a nice tattoo.

http://slimman.com/music/

This Tuesday, April 21st, I’m doing the Vino with Dino Show at 360 North in Downtown Palm Springs, California. Last week, Trini Lopez showed up and sang some songs with me.

Slim Man 4

The Legendary Carl Davis is giving free dance lessons at 7 PM. I’ll also be teaching people how to dance. I’ve created a new dance called…The Slimmy Dance. It’s a combination of the Watusi, the Hokey Pokey and the Humpty Hump. It’s hard to describe, but if you’ve ever seen anybody get Tasered, it’s very similar.

On Thursday, Lonesome Slim Rides Again at the Coolest Little Wine Bar in the West-La Rue Wine Bar in OldTown LaQuinta. I’ll be singing some Slim, and some Dino, Nat and Frank. Small plates, fine wines, craft beers and a Man Named Slim.

The FULL SLIM MAN BAND will be doing a concert at a place in Palm Springs called Shanghai Red’s on Monday, April 27th. It’s being put on by the magnanimous Ruth Ruiz, and it’s gonna be a Jazz Appreciation Party. So let’s appreciate, and let’s party. Hans Zermuehlen on keys, Greg Vail on sax, and Craig Chesnut on drums, plus lots of special guest artists.

There is a very cool gig on Saturday, June 6th, a Slim Man House Party and Concert. It’s gonna be a blast. You gotta see this place! All details on all gigs are Down Below.

And Now for all the New News From Slim’s Shady Trailer Park

I had another problem with my Mac computer. The headphone jack broke. So I had to go back to the Apple Store to get it fixed. I figured I’d get there early and beat the crowd. Except there was a line outside the door 15 minutes before the place opened.

Seriously.

Why? People wanted to try on the new iWatch. That’s right, Apple is making an iWatch and people were lining up just to try it on! It won’t be for sale until later this week.

The cheapo model goes for $350. The most expensive iWatch is $17,000.

I’m not a psychic but I used to go out with one. It’s not fun going out with someone who knows what you’re thinking all the time, by the way.

Going out to restaurants was fun, I used to let her order for me. I figured, she knows what I want!

But here’s my psychic prediction: The iWatch is gonna be huge. I read an article about the designer–Jonathan Ive. He’s the same guy who designed the iMac, the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad.

He did an incredible job on the iWatch. The attention to detail is amazing. He put off deadline after deadline to get it right. It took a year just to get the watchband the way he wanted. And the iWatch sounds pretty amazing.

These days, you know how so many people are possessed by their phones? You see them staring down at them all the time. At dinner. At a concert. At a funeral.

In New York City, the police were alarmed by the sudden rise in the number of traffic accidents involving pedestrians. So they lowered the speed limit in Manhattan to 25 MPH. It didn’t help. Why?

It wasn’t the motorists fault. It was the pedestrians. People were staring at their iPhones, ignoring lights, and walking right out onto busy streets, right in front of cars and taxis and buses.

And now? People are gonna be staring at their iWatches. All day. Every day. Everywhere you go, people will be talking to their wrists, listening to their wrists, laughing at their wrists, singing to their wrists. If you buy a cup of coffee, you can pay with your iWatch–just wave it at the register.

It makes you wonder when it’s all gonna stop. It made me think of the app that I created a little while ago. It never caught on, but I’m still hoping it will.

It’s called…iQuit. Here’s how it works: You take your iPhone, iPad, iMac and iWatch, you put them all in a bag, you go to a bridge, throw it over, and scream,

“iQuit!”

And then what?

You come on over to Slim’s Shady Trailer Park, sit around the bonfire, gnaw on some pickled pig’s feet, and have a chat while we sip on some Andre Cold Duck.

We’ll leave the bug light on for ya.

Slim People! Keep smilin’. This world needs your smile.

Who loves ya?

Uncle Slimmy